Hydrate the Beast—Because Coffee Doesn’t Count

Your body is 70% water, so let’s keep the beast properly fueled! This 32 oz. (950 ml) water bottle is here to remind you that hydration isn’t just important—it’s a pillar of health (literally, it’s on the back with the rest of the 7 Pillows of Health). Whether you’re lifting, walking, stretching, or just trying to remember where you left your phone, this bottle has your back (and your hydration levels).

With a wide-mouth foldable straw for easy, spill-free sipping and a rotating handle for effortless carrying, it’s perfect for workouts, road trips, or side-eyeing people who say, “I just don’t like the taste of water.”

Key Features:

• Double-walled stainless steel with vacuum insulation (aka, your drink stays cold for hours)

• Plastic lid with a wide-mouth foldable straw (because tilting a giant bottle mid-sprint is risky)

• 32 oz. (950 ml) capacity—big enough to hit your hydration goals, but not so big it doubles as a dumbbell

• Glossy finish—because hydration should look as good as it feels

• Rotating handle for easy carrying (or twirling dramatically when you need a break)

• Anti-slip patch—so it stays put when you set it down (unlike your motivation on a Monday)

• Blank product sourced from China

Heads up, Beasts! This bottle is not dishwasher or microwave safe (because science), so hand-wash only—treat it like the sacred hydration vessel it is.

Stay fueled. Stay fierce. Hydrate the beast.